


Fuck my life

by cheesycatnation (orphan_account)



Category: Justice League: War, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: CCPD doesn’t trust batsy, Can You Feel The Love Tonight, Hurt singh, Multi, Protective batsy, Singh needs a break, all of the bat kids ship it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-19 05:55:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20652290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cheesycatnation
Summary: Flash is on his honeymoon so Batman is put in charge of central while he is gone.





	1. Getting stabbed by two assholes

**Author's Note:**

> Warning this entire fix is going to suck. This is in a universe I created by combining the new 52 movies and the show. Some things that happened in the show and movies are canon while the rest of it I said fuck this shit and has a different timeline. Also I have an oc in there. Luciano Sol aka Wendigo is Bruce’s second eldest, and was part of the circus with Dick. No one knows who her father is, her mom had magical abilities and can transform into magical animals. She is half human so she can only partly transform into other mythical animals and every time she transforms the mystical animals are somewhat humanoid. Also Rob is really a gold digger in this universe so sorry to anyone who liked him in the show.

This week has been really shitty. First Rob leaves me for some rich guy. Second some new crazy cult has moved into Central. And third the flash, Barry, is on his honeymoon leaving me alone to deal with the cult problem. I swear that guy in the hoodie is following me... Holy fuck! I turn around quickly as the guy jumps on me. He slams me into the ground and pulls out a knife. I swiftly kick him in the stomach and reach for my gun. Somebody grabs my hand and twists it. I screech out in pain.The first guy gets back on his feet and presses the knife into my stomach. He twists it around and god I think I’m going to black out. My blood is starting to pool around me on the ground. I claw at his arm in a poorly executed attempt to pull out the knife. I can barely see with crimson liquid pouring into my eyes. When did I hit my head? I barely see the dark figure approaching as I fall unconscious.

—————— POV change bitches ——————

I prowl around the city, checking on which crime families live where and making sure the archives were has up to date. I am annoyed as I notice that crazy homophobic, white supremacist cult that was pushed out of Bludhaven recently has moved in some of the Santini territory. After I update the archives I hear a scream out in the distance. I grapple towards the sound and notice two of the cult members. And a bloody unconscious person on the ground. I leap down from the building, letting them become aware of my presence. They both run at me. The larger man tries to stab me with a bloody knife but, I slide out of his way and kick him in the back. I quickly trip the other guy and tie them both to a street lamp. Turning my attention to the unconscious man I notice the huge puddle of blood surrounding him. I note it looks like he hit his head on the ground, got stabbed in the stomach, and twisted his arm. I call the bat mobile using my belt before picking the cop up bridal style. Placing him in the passenger seat, I drive off to the nearest hospital, St. Andrews.


	2. The hospital

Someone is speaking. No, two people. What are they saying? It sounds like they are arguing. I feel like I’m underwater. I can’t see. What happened? Why does everything hurt. What is going on? Am I dead?

————— lol poor Singh POV change to a bunch of arguing idiots—————

“What the fuck did you do to HIM,” someone yells at me. I turn around, to face a cop. West... Oliver once went on a rant about this guy. Although to be fair all of Central hates the Arrow like cats to water. “I saved his ass,” I say in a monotone voice. He screams,”he is barely alive!” “Like I found him.” “What the hell are you even doing here?” he hisses. Jeez this guy is confrontational, even by my standards. He does know the league exists right? “Flash is away for a confidential reason and I was left to babysit Central, so you are stuck with me for a long time,” I sarcastically reply,” Now if you don’t have anymore questions I’ll be leaving now. I hear him yell wait as I jump out the window to get back on patrol.


	3. Everybody hates Batman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am ruining Joe’s character, too. This is probably the only chapter I am going to write that doesn’t start from David’s POV

“... and then he just leaves,” I finish my story,” Barry thinks I am overreacting and that ‘he is always like that.’ I don’t think I’m overreacting! He carried Singh into a hospital, checked his ID, then called in CCPD through SINGH’S phone! Am I the only one that finds that creepy?! Also he has bat-themed everything!” “Yeah that is pretty creepy,” Eddie replies,” but I’m gonna trust Barry’s judgment since he is now married to another vigilante.” Most of the cops that were listening nod their heads in agreement. Johnson walks into the hallway to throw out an empty cup of coffee. I hear a whooshing sound followed by a yelp. A couple of other cops run out to see a cult member tied up with a paper covered in a bunch of names. Barry’s judgment is thrown out the window. This “Batman” is probably crazy.

————— let’s go to batsy’s POV—————

God fuck these people are stupid. I facepalm for what must have been the millionth time since I got here. I look back inside to see those idiots take one look at the paper and throw it away! I wrote out at least twenty names that the cult will probably target next and they just throw it away. “You know you’re gonna hurt yourself if you facepalm again,” Oracle snorts through the comm. “Honestly I am amazed how Barry hasn’t gone insane,” I reply too tired to care. “How is everybody doing at home?” I change the subject,” Are Jason and Tim fighting again? Is Dick still trying to introduce Damian to Disney? How are Cass, Steph and Lucas doing in school? Any drama from Luciano’s girlfriend? Have you guys driven Kate insane yet?” She laughs before replying,” Jason and Tim are constantly fighting, Damian is angry he can’t get Let it go out of his head, no one had any fights in school this week so far, judging by the increased number of songs by Set It Off, Luciano and Amanda finally broke up, and Kate hasn’t gone insane, although she has started two fights with paintball guns...” She stops talking as she breaks out in laughter, probably from something stupid the others are doing. “Do I want to know?” I ask. She snickers before answering,”nope, although Barry’s boss should wake up in a couple of hours you can check on him then.” “Thank you oracle,” I reply before turning of my comm link. I grapple off the building onto a tree. Stealthily I climb through the window and like a cat I land silently inside the station. I opened the door as quietly as he got in. I noted the different officers in the room which were working like bees in a hive. Moving amongst the shadows like a ghost I continued to go unnoticed by the officers. Then once I was behind Detective West’s desk I cleared my throat. Every officer snapped their head in my direction. “How the fuck did you get in-“ “I have my ways,” I cut him off before he could finish. I breathed in before speaking,” since apparently none of you can’t read and have thrown away any attempt I have made at helping you I guess I’ll have to spell it out. The “pure blood cult” as it is called in Gotham is attacking city officials of color or with ties with the GRSM community. Their next targets will probably include, Captain David Singh, Dr. Caitlin Snow, Mayor Oliver Queen, President James of the central lgbt help resources committee, and senator Carla Reed. Before anyone can reply to me I walk into the middle of the room, throw a smoke bomb on the ground and disappear through an open window.


	4. Trust me they meet again soon

It’s been two hours since I woke up. Officer Adelyne just filled me in on what happened. Apparently the Gotham vigilante, Batman, has been place in charge in the absence of the Flash and Weather Wizard. How he saved my life, got confronted by Joe, took out multiple cult members, and spent the rest of his time intimidating all of the male officers while most of the ladies have admitted to having a crush? The doctor said that I could leave the damn hospital in a couple of days and can go back to work in two weeks. Until then I can just wait for officer Adelyne to give me updates.

————— POV change to my poor single father batty—————

Honestly I can’t wait to return to Gotham. I sorta miss the rainy skies. That and I probably miss my family. The cops here are awful. Somehow they are even worse than the mostly corrupt GCPD. West barely has any authority over them. I haven’t even met Singh and I want him to get back to work. I pull my bat phone out of my hoodie pocket. It’s 2:25. According to the hospital footage the Captain woke up two hours ago. I’ll visit him tonight. There are no new leads on the pure blood cult, I don’t need to do any paperwork for Wayne enterprises, and besides replying to a couple of texts from Tim, Damian, Alfred, Kate, and Renee I have nothing to do.

———— Batman’s phone————————-

\- Timdrakethegreat -

\- hey how is it going in central!

Just fine why -  
(Seen by Timdrakethegreat)  
\- no reason tell Wally I said hi

You have his number -  
(Seen by Timdrakethegreat)  
I know you saw that -  
Tim -

\- TheBloodchild -

\- Father tell Grayson to stop forcing me to  
watch those ridiculous princess movies  
\- I cannot get that stupid ice song out of my  
head

No one can defeat Dick with a Disney  
Movie -

\- batlesbian -

\- Hey Bruce I need your help

What happened -  
(Seen by batlesbian)  
\- Tim won’t stop moping do you know if  
something happened recently or if he is just  
brooding

Give him relationship advice on asking people  
out. He is probably pining over Wally -

\- ReneeMontoya -

\- movie Night is coming up and Damian doesn’t  
want to watch anything Disney send help

The Princess Bride -

————— back to My poor hurt child —————

I am so bored. I can feel myself slowly going insane. I need to do something productive. But holy fuck everything aches. My arm is aching so much I can’t think straight. Well I mean I couldn’t think straight if I wanted to but still. I think staring at the same painting for over an hour. At this point I could probably recreate it blindfolded. Wait Batman used my phone to call Joe, that means I have my phone! I turn on my side carefully to reach over and grab my phone off the counter. Now I can finally entertain myself.


	5. Meeting again or for the first time since one of us was dying last time

I barely noticed the passage of time. Usually Rob would be the one to tell me I shouldn’t stay up so late. It hurts thinking about Rob. Mostly because it makes me wonder... Is he happy? How long had he been into Walter? Was my paycheck that important to him? Did he ever love me? I really don’t want to think about the last one. Then I fucking hear a voice. “What happened?” I drop my phone in surprise. A hand quickly breaks it’s fall. “Holy shit,” I almost scream. He places the the phone on the counter besides me. I turn my head in his direction. I’m around 5’ 11’ so I am somewhat above average, but gosh I think he might be 6’4’?! He chuckles softly for a bit and jokingly says,”well you’re jumpy.” “Yeah no shit, I got jumped two days ago,” I reply sort of flustered. He smiles a bit before sitting on the foot of my bed. “What happened that night? Before I got there.” He asks. He is looking for a lead. I lean back in the hospital bed before replying. “ Sorry my memory is a bit foggy. I was walking home, stressed about work and some new cult that showed up. I noticed a large guy. He was following me. I didn’t pay much attention to him, I thought he was probably going somewhere close to my apartment. We passed an alley way and he tackled me. I fought him off a bit but before I could get my gun or call for backup someone else got me from behind. I don’t remember much after that except I got stabbed and somewhere along the line I hit my head.” Batman stood up. He mumbled something under his breath then jumped out the window into the night.

————— batty POV—————  
I quietly climb through the window. Singh is on his phone looking at old cat memes. Maybe, it is because his hair is a mess and all floofed up or because the last time I saw him he was covered in his own blood and dying he looks a lot cuter than I remember. I silently move towards him until I am standing besides the head of the bed. He looks sort of sad. His file said he recently broke up with some asshole named Rob. “What happened?” I ask. He jumps a little in surprise dropping his phone. He turns towards me. I put the phone away and chuckle a bit. “Well someone is jumpy.” Wait WHAT THE FUCK did I just say!? I see him blush a bit before replying,”yeah, no shit I got jumped two days ago.” He looks really flustered. God I think I’ve been single for too long. I casually sit on the foot of the bed, before asking again,” what happened that night? Before I got there.” I press a button on my glove to record what he said. I stare at his face while he talks. I notice his tired eyes, his soft expressions, his pained smile. He looks rough. When he finished I stand up. Turning towards the window, I mumble,”you should get some sleep.”

————— Batfam is going crazy—————

We’ve replayed the tape at least twenty times. Cass, Luciano, and Dick are already making a ship name. Currently they are deciding between SinghWayne, CaptainBat, Bruvid, or Sinyne. Damian, Tim, Steph, and Jason think it is unrealistic. “Sure, Just because Singh is the only cop in Central that Dad is immediately disgusted by doesn’t mean it is love.” Lucas, Kate, Barbra, and Renee need some more convincing. No one knows Alfred’s opinion. Actually Cass and Luciano outnumber Dick and the ship name is Sinyne. (Pronounced sin)


	6. Holy flip

Wow 17 clicks... i feel famous   
going through some writers block I'm gonna try to write a chapter. eh you know what when I finish this I'm gonna make some art to go with it.


	7. CCPD hates Batman

It has been two days since I visited Captain Singh in St. Andrew's. The rest of the Batfam as Luciano calls us is unusually quiet. They probably broke another priceless antique...  
At least I have a lead. The "pure bloods", god that is a stupid name, are probably helping another family. Since there is no way they could have pulled their act together and moved into Santini territory alone. I suspect Black Mask or a group from Keystone or Starling. Thawne transferred from Keystone around a year ago. I should question him. Turning my laptop off, I grab my batsuit and start my trek towards the station. 

\---------- My poor dumb blond child Eddie's POV --------------

I walk towards the patrol car slowly. today had been a long day at work. Some old jewelry store got robbed this morning which resulted in a two hour standoff, Joe is super stressed out with Batman popping up everywhere, there was a huge pile of paperwork that I'll have to deal with soon, and Iris is probably going to go crazy if I don't text her back. Rubbing my eyes a bit, I notice the large shadow on the ground. "Ugghhh," I groan. "Nice to see you too," the figure replies. "i need need the names of some smaller Keystone families, preferably ones with connections to the Santini family." "Wait, what?" I reply slightly confused. Why the hell does he need to know about Keystone families? "When I was still working in Keystone, both the Mako and Wiltar families sold drugs and weapons to the Santinis," I reply. And just like that he is gone...   
What a creepy asshole.


	8. Bat fam ships and awful conversations

Ughhh. If I could go back to work I probably would be doing something productive, but instead I am trying to reach a bag of rice that is ridiculously high for some reason. Why does C-Mart even have extra high shelves!? (Yes I ripped off Kmart cause I’m lazy.) “Need help?” A voice behind me calls. “Uhh yeah um thank you,” I reply slightly embarrassed. As the stranger helps get the bag of rice down I notice he is pretty tall... and muscular... and -HOLY SHIT IT IS MOTHERFUCKING BRUCE WAYNE!!! We make eye contact. “So what are you doing here at two am?” He asks. “Got hungry and was out of food, you?” I reply. “Was getting snacks for a friend of mine,” he smiles,” Bruce Wayne.” “David Singh,” I answer and we shake hands. “The police captain?” Bruce asks. I nodded. “Heard you got injured,” he added,” You alright?” He scanned my body. God that fucking worried smile. This is what happens when I’m single. “I’m fine,” I blush awkwardly. His phone rings. Bruce picks it up and answers a call. He chuckles a bit into the phone and god he is fine. I stare a bit and barely hear the conversation. I make out something about Pocky, an hour, and “Cisco”? He hangs up but before I say bye he grabs my arm. Ouch. He has a fucking grip. “Sorry,” he apologizes,”here is my number, call me.” He winks and I can feel a blush spread across my face. Great now I’m pining over two hot, strong, tall gothamites that look like models. Fuck my life

————————to my angry child oc —————————-

What the duck just happened. If I were a meme I would probably be the Thomas had never seen such bullshit meme.   
That was the worst flirting I have seen in my entire life. Dad and Singh were so cringy. I moved all of the rice to the top shelf for that?! How the hell is dad so good at flirting with girls but so bad with guys? Oh Fuck I think he heard me facepalm. fuck. Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! I need to move out of the vents before he investigates... At least Jason now ships it.


	9. What the duck *authors note

What the fuck. You guys aren’t supposed to like my cringy, awfully written crack fic! Why would you read this? So many options and this is what you guys click.


	10. Fuck this shit

Yeah I hate this so I’m gonna abandon it oof


End file.
